So , today is a special day . Today is the day that I chop my long, beautiful , luscious, black hair . Thank goodness there wasn’t any celebration . Or more likely d crying and wailing. That has been an obvious, everytime I cut my hair short. Not only because who will marry me with short hair but also because they looked so beautiful and it’ll take so much time to grow them back . Like I was living in a dreamland where I presumed hair growing like grape vine . I hav never been Rapunzel , and I don’t inspire . I do understand the concoctions of cutting short my own hair . And indeed they have by now understood my philosophy over marriage .
So, when I say everytime I cut my hair (yes it has been many times. My idea of an ultimate change in life begins with a hair cut and mostly limits to that . I am a dreamer but change happens with no will of my own), there is mostly a chaos that follows, but also there is another chaos that leads to the haircut.
This time it is over my man . He who I chose , he who chose me , just an year ago . And yes I am already ready to change him . Not coz I am a modern woman and this is inevitable . But because our recent clash is irreparable.
So , we met four years ago for one day , where he was counselling what I was inspiring to pursue . Three years later he got his dream job and thought of extending contact ,out of a random spree, am guessing . It’s difficult to concisely explain what went next but we end up together and in love . I moved to my desert and he stayed where he belonged. Long distance relations aren’t as difficult but aren’t very easy. I state this because we were prepared for this, and also understood what we were signing for .
Something changed recently , and awkwardly . He put forward the pretext of marriage but with vague settings. It wasn’t a movie like proposal offcourse , but also it had no planning , no discussion , no game changer topics on table. So if it wasn’t filmy it was also not mature .
Coming to the recents, all tries to talk substantial with him go in utter vain. And the absolute fresh talk of my little town is, his religion. He holds his religion extremely dear but also he gets defensive on it much too often . My idea of religion is null . But we need to settle on marginal grounds everytime such topics come in. And indeed it’s not a one way riot . Thought too much wrote less , nonetheless it explains my disturbed state.
Now this is the chaos that lead to the current development. And d ideology was ‘I need change’ and also ‘can he deal with change’- ohh he has made it a point several times that he likes my long hair and prefers women with long hair blah blah .
*looks like this wasn’t published at the right time . Weeks later things haven’t changed on the subjects of chaos ,and my hair length is gone.